Has anyone ever told you the following ‘ you should do the following ______ (fill in the blank)‘.
How did it make you feel?
Was it something that you believed you didn’t need to do. Several years ago, a couple of friends of mine introduced me to the concept of Non-Violent Communication (NVC) which was developed by Marshall Rosenberg and others. According to Wikipedia’s definition of N.V.C “It is a way to communicate with greater compassion and clarity.It focuses on two things: honest self-expression — exposing what matters to oneself in a way that’s likely to inspire compassion in others, and empathy — listening with deep compassion.”
Our words no matter how well intentioned can be misinterpreted. I will go out on a limb and say that can even be felt as acts of violence. Maybe they only affect us at the emotional level, but if we (for now) are still mostly reliant on words – they count.
Since being informally to N.V.C., I’ve thought quite a bit about how we communicate (i.e the words we choose). I believe most people are not aware of the words they choose. Their words are selected usually by habit rather than choice.
I admit that I’m guilty in regards on the items mentioned above.
I know improving the way I communicate is a life long process. I’m on the path for this continued work of being more mindful with my spoken and written language.
In the spirit of keeping things uplifting and positive, I’ll leave you with the words of the Persian poet Rumi.
This We Have Now
This we have now
is not imagination.
This is not
grief or joy.
Not a judging state,
or an elation,
Those come and go.
This is the presence that doesn’t.